How to break a cycle of procrastination

According to the Collins English Dictionary (2003) the word procrastinate means "to put off or defer (an action) until a later time" whereas the American Heritage Dictionary (updated 2009) defines it as " to put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness."

'Habitual carelesness or laziness, may well be reasons why some people procrastinate, but there are plenty of other reasons (real or imagined) such as fear, fear of failure, fear of success, boredom, resentment, poor time management, stress, too complicated, more interesting things to do...

There are lots of books in the marketplace offering different advice on how to stop procrastinating. However, I believe that before spending (or wasting) any money there are two key questions which you need to ask and answer of yourself.

1. Why do I procrastinate?
2. Do I want to stop procrastinating?
3. Am I willing to make changes?
   

You don't need a book to help you answer these questions, but you do need to be honest with yourself.

Being honest with yourself about why you procrastinate is key to changing your habits.Hiding behind the "I don't know why I do it" is a cop out.  If it's not immediately obvious think about it.  Think about things that you have been motivated about- what's the difference? Be honest and think it through.

How often have you heard people "I always leave everything until the last minute because I work much better to a tight deadline?"

I've used this excuse myself, when I've just spent 48hrs without sleep to get an assignment in for my masters degree. Perhaps it does work for some people, but if I'm absolutely honest with myself it's not as good as I make out. Yes, I always reach the deadline, yes I always get good marks - but is it my best work? Probably not. Is it good to have no sleep for 2 days - No! Is this an effective way to work? - No! So why do I do it? In my case, it's because I always find something I would rather do and I don't prioritise my work properly.

Another common reason, people use for not getting things done, is to blame someone else. An example of this is: "I couldn't do my (writing) because my friend keeps ringing. They have a problem and need my help,"

Your friend may well need your help, but, we all have choices about how we spend our time. Of course there are emergencies - a child has an accident, a close relative is seriously ill... We all have responsibilities, work, children, charity work .... but don't kid yourself. We make choices about how we react to our responsibilities and emergences. If one made the decision to watch half an hour less television in a day, a task that you had been putting off could be started and then if an emergency arises you still have space to complete it.

So in answering the question - Why do I procrastinate?, whatever the answer - be honest with yourself. Don't make a flimsy excuse, don't blame someone else and don't say you don't know. (It's inside your head somewhere!)

This is the second key question to ask yourself. As before you need to be honest. I have a great sister who's always moaning about procrastinating. She says that she just can't get started over a number of projects despite the fact they are very important to her. She always says it's becasue she hasn't got time. If pushed she admits she has the time, but sits thinking about the lack of time around her responsibilities.

Well I don't think she's being entirely honest. She doesn't procrastinate over everything. When she feels really passionate about something, she is incredibly focussed, doesn't procrastinate, she plans and goes for it. .She actually knows how she can make changes if she wants to, but the question she hasn't yet answered is 'Do I want to stop procrastinating?'

If you really don't want to stop procastinating you can read lots of self-help books, you can try a myriad of different techniques, but they won't make any long term difference. You may start with enthusiasm but like many New Years resolutions, you will stop after a few days or weeks.

Be honest - do you want to stop procrastinating or are you in reality content with a more relaxed or haphazard approach to life?

This is the third question you should ask yourself before you embark on any actions to stop procrastinating. It should be obvious that without change (however small) you will not be successful. So think about the costs and benefits of not procrastinating and check that you really are will to make changes and how you will feel about the impact. For example. You may decide to stop procrastinating over going to the gym - Benefits could include improved fitness and more energy. Costs could include: less time with loved ones, having to scacrifice going out once a week.

There are no rights or wrongs to what is a cost and what is a benefit. Only you can make that judgement, but by considering costs and benefits you will work out possible impacts of any changes and whether you are willing to make them.

As I've already mentioned there are lots of books on the market. Which one should you choose? Well that's a difficult one. Different authors give suggestions about setting goals, making lists, being positive...What I do know is you have to find out what works for you and that may take a bit of trial and error. I can only share with you the one thing that has worked for me.

I break things down to a manageable size!

Well that's not exactly original,so let me explain. I have never drunk enough water. Every year I used to set resolutions that I would drink - two glasses a day, three glasses a day and sometimes I would manage it for about a week. The problem is that I don't find it easy to drink and I really don't like it very much. However, not drinking any water was hurting my health.

Then I read about a woman with a similar problem with water. She was asked if she could manage one sip of water.a day. She agreed she could. She was asked if she could take two sips of water a day and yet again she agreed that she could. So that is where she started with two sips of water a day. Of course once she started, it wasn't as difficult as she imagined and of her own volition she progressed to drinking glasses of water in a short space of time. This technique was ideal. It removed the fear factor for her,and it broke down her resistence because the amount she started with was manageable for her.

This really struck a cord with me. I suddenly knew why I couldn't keep up drinking water. Going from drinking no water to two or three glasses a day - was just too big a leap. So I started with sips and after a week I moved to 50mls and then 100mls. I now drink two litres a day and I am pleased with that. In time I may drink more and I may not. It doesn't matter. The point is that I found a way to stop procrastinating over drinking water.

Perhaps you're thinking that an issue like drinking water is no big deal. Well it was for me, but it may not be for you. I believe that this technique can be used for anything. I had recently been procrastinating over sorting out a lot of legal papers that either needed to be stored, shredded or passed onto my solicitor. I didn't want to look at them because they reminded me of a very painful time in my life, but avoiding them was becoming a serious issue. I kept looking at the two large shopping bags and four carrier bags stuffed full of paper and every time I did, I felt really sick.

In the end I broke it down to what I could manage. I told myself I could cope with five minutes a day. I didn't worry about how long it would take me. The next morning I did five minutes. I didn't like it, I found it distressing but I coped. The following day I did another five minutes and it wasn't quite as bad. I gave myself a pat on the back that I was coping. After four days I sorted a whole carrier bag and then within two days I had cleared everything. So a job that I had been procrastinating over for nearly 6 months was done in less than a week, because I started at a level that was manageable.

• Be honest with yourself about why you procrastinate and whether you really want to do anything about it.
• Work out the costs and benefits of any changes that you want to make
• Do some research and find a technique that will work for you.
  
• Break tasks down to a level that will allow you to get started.
• Share what you're doing with a supportive friend or relative who can offer encouragement..
• Avoid negative self talk. Don't tell yourself you should be doing more- celebrate every success. Youve started and you're making progress.
• If something doesn't work -ask yourself why and what if anything you could change in the future and move on.
  

Good luck